And so it came to pass...a tale before Christmas.

[shrimper]

"And lo did legions travel for several hours to descend upon the lands of the Shrimpites whereupon they made it their task so to smite and lay low the people and the lands of the Shrimpian tribes.
The warriors and followers of the land of Bursle’hem seeketh to plunder this northern village and there to seize such goals and points as to reward their own peoples with the glories of the League Two title which was their bounty and of which would talk their sons and their sons’ sons and all the sons of the forefathers that didst fashion the pots from which they didst eat and drink this day.
Yet the Shrimpites maketh no banquet for the Valiant guard of Bursle’hem instead to thwart and foil their intrusion with cunning and stout hearts.
For 93 long minutes, such time being longer by three the allotted time and begat by foul and wound at the hands of the Valiant guard, didst the Shrimpite villagers resist these hordes whose followers didst lay waste only to meagre pie and weak tea laid before them.
And lo did the Shrimpites even occasion to rejoice late in battle as did they smite at the very core of the Valiant guard and didst such smiting by almighty effort and from the head of the one named Mullin the Mighty on which no hair did grow for ten long years and who did appear near the post they called ‘back’.
And in their rejoicing did they hail the name of he in whose name such victory was begat and that name was Samuel of the McIllites from the island of Norn and rejoicest most did he in that his was the creation of such victory and such victory didst exalt him in the eyes of his masters.
“Lo” he spake unto the soothsayers of the lands of Cyber, “thou wouldst disown me when famine came. Thou thrice and more denied my knowledge when our harvest was not as bountiful as of years past. Yet now thou hailest me, thou praiseth my name and carry me on shoulders high? Oh ye of little faith!”
And so didst the Shrimpites make merry with wine and ale for one month and one night and didst rejoice in triumph in the lands of the men who made shoes for the feet and of the Maccanites and as they didst vanquish the Shottentots and rest and share bread with the Stanlerian peasants and did spare the poor hat-makers more misery by this time only smiting them a bit.
And didst the manner of their victory reveal a new and mighty weapon in their armoury, being named Duffy The Gingermite and by which means victories were secured as didst he play in the hole, like.

And so it came to pass."

Lillis: Ch 12, V 8.

[ockers]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs

[Bare bum]

I told you should write Mr Shrimper.

That was beautiful, I can't wait for Chapter 12 verse 9.

[morecambe mick]

Too much ******* time Glen

[shrimper]

What do you expect me to do when I've got the little uns to bed - watch Arsenal?!

[mrpotatohead]

thought you might have popped down the glen bar and groddle

[paulshrimp]

Brilliant. Hast thee partaken of too much fermented juice of the grape?

[Pobble]

The best I have ever read on SV.
Thanks for the entertainment.